Monday, June 8, 2009

Maddening Bugs

There I was sleeping like a baby. All curled up next to my cat Corky. Then one of my worst fears comes true. Corky jumps up and starts to swat at my ear. A few seconds later I hear a buzzing noise then creepy little feet walking down my ear canal. For a second there I thought I was dreaming as I got up out of bed. But I was not dreaming. Something had crawled up in my ear.

I started to panic and yelled for Carolynn to help me. The critter that was in my ear was trying to burrow its way out of my head. This was quite maddening to say the least. If you ever want to torture a person or get them to tell the truth, put a bug in their ear. They will fess up right away.

Carolynn could not find anything in my ear and asked if I wanted to go to the Emergency Room. I usually avoid such places, but I did not hesitate in answering "Hell Yes". I learned one new thing about Carolynn during the drive to the hospital. She cannot drive, especially under pressure from a screaming mad man with a nasty old bug in his ear. I few times I thought for sure we were going to crash.

We made it to North Kansas City Hospital a little past midnight. It did not take very long until I was being seen by the doctor. At least that is what his badge said he was. However, after digging into my ear for over an hour and causing me all kinds of pain, I do not think he was actually a doctor. At least he was able to kill the bastard and give me some ear drops that helped a lot with the pain. I was instructed to go home and visit an ENT in the morning when his office opened.

Great, go home and sit in bed with a critter in your ear. I still wanted to know what the heck was in there. The doctor could not tell what it was. All I did was think of Bugs in the Ear and movies that I had seen.

I did get an early appointment with the great doctors at Midwest Medical Specialists. Within 10 min the doctor had the beast out and my ear all cleaned up. Turns out I had a nasty old cockroach in my ear. After trying to figure out where the cockroach came from, I came to the conclusion that it was from Christopher's suitcase that he had just put in my room. The same suitcase that was in Florida a few days ago. I pieced the little dude back together and took a picture for your viewing pleasure.

One word of advice. I you do find yourself with a bug in your ear, you can use mineral oil to kill it. A few drops with in the ear canal with stop all that buzzing, biting and scraping. I sure wish I would have known this jewel of info last night....


g-wiz said...

Dude! That's some crazy stuff right there... I'd freak out, no doubt. Better hope that little bugger didn't lay eggs...

Jackie said...

Wow...u can no longer call yourself a "Florida boy" if that is what u think a Florida roach looks like. That sucker was way too small. Do u not remember Palmetto bugs? One could put a leash on one of those suckers and take it for a walk ... but it ain't (yeah, I said ain't, what of it?) crawling in an ear.

If I were to venture to make an educated guess, I'd say that lil' sucker hitched a ride into your house from one of your many rides out in the woods.